Ironically, the 'Ugly American' in the novel is not the arrogant, culturally tone-deaf official the phrase has come to mean, but a man named Homer Atkins — a practical engineer who earns trust by living among local people, understanding their needs, and solving problems with humility rather than bureaucracy. The book's enduring message is that lasting influence comes from building durable relationships and developing local knowledge.
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Most of us think the key to a better relationship is finding the right partner. But Eli Finkel says the more important question is how to be the right partner — how to bring more of yourself to your relationship, and to cultivate the conditions that allow love to flourish.
Hidden Brain
Do I know for sure, for sure, if we should do it? No, but I do know we can't keep talking about it. We're either never going to do it, or we're going to become two Tony Randles who feed our baby applesauce that we also eat.
Colman Domingo — Fresh Air
When we feel that our partner is not meeting our needs, we tend to assume that we've chosen the wrong person. We blame them for being selfish, or insensitive, or not trying hard enough. But research suggests that the problem often lies not with our partner, but with how well we've communicated what we actually need.
Hidden Brain