Most people think of listening as a passive activity — something we do while waiting for our turn to speak. But research suggests that feeling truly heard by another person is one of the most powerful experiences we can have. It can change how we think, how we feel about ourselves, and how we relate to others.
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The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.
Edward R. Murrow — Address to the Radio-Television News Directors Association
Because our vagal pathways are shaped by our earliest experiences of co-regulation in the infant-parent dyad, ruptures in that co-regulation — whether by abuse or neglect — condition the dorsal vagus to become dominant and make a neuroception of danger the default response, storying reality away from safety, nowhere more perilously than in intimate relationships.
Maria Popova
Before giving up drinking, I had very little earnestness at my command. I drank in order to give myself permission to talk openly, or at great length, or to heighten the sensation of listening or being listened to. Drinking is way easier than saying that you want to talk to someone, or don't.
Sarah Miller