Even the most sincere promise is but a tenuous handshake — not between us and others, but between our present selves and our future selves. Nothing is more discomposing to our self-image than watching ourselves break a true promise on the edge of the awful recognition that our future selves are only ever a fantasy of who we would like to be, not a prediction of who we will become.
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Most people think that communication problems arise because we don't say what we mean. But research suggests the opposite is often true: we say exactly what we mean, but we fail to consider how our words will land on the other person. We're so focused on our own intentions that we forget the listener is constructing their own interpretation of what we say.
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The thing that I find so hard about venture capital is that you might be right about a company, but if you make your investment at the wrong time, you can lose all your money. You can be right about the destination but wrong about the timing, and it doesn't matter that you were right about the destination.
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Most of us, most of the time, make decisions incrementally. We don't blow up our lives — we make small adjustments, trying to improve our circumstances bit by bit. But some people, at some point, feel the urge to do something dramatic: quit a job without another one lined up, leave a relationship, move to a new city where they know no one.
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