There is no substitute for a tough piece of feedback from someone who cares about us. And when we can make it safe enough for the people in our lives to tell us those hard things, it not only benefits us, it can spark transformation in our workplaces and in our families.
And the feedback is that when I'm not at my best, I come across as arrogant, condescending, self-righteous and a know-it-all -- which is a really nice combination and a great way to make friends, if you're interested.
The most counterintuitive thing I've learned is that the best way to build a durable company is to be obsessively focused on the problem, not the solution. Most founders fall in love with their solution, which makes them blind to feedback. But if you're in love with the problem, every piece of negative feedback is a gift because it gets you closer to actually solving it.
I think the best thing you can do for someone is tell them the truth. And most people don't do that. They tell people what they want to hear. And I think that's actually a disservice to people, because you're robbing them of the opportunity to actually improve.
Correction without connection feels like rejection. Connection is what separates our work from our worth. It's about valuing people not just for what they do, but who they are.
Bad breath is kind of a metaphor for humanness, for being a human being, for loving somebody enough to tell them something that might be painful in the short term but very helpful in the long term.
6mo ago
Underscored — save the words that stop you in your tracks.
