People who have high standards for themselves can be especially hard on themselves when they make mistakes. And they spiral into self-criticism, which doesn't help them improve. What helps people improve is thinking of themselves compassionately — the way you might think of a good friend who has made a mistake.
You can regret something and hold yourself accountable for it, but that doesn't mean you have to punish yourself for the rest of your life. You could learn from your regrets. You could try to transform them or try to do something good with them.
Most people, when they make a mistake, either beat themselves up excessively or they dismiss it entirely. Neither of these responses is actually useful. The sweet spot is to be like a good mentor to yourself — to acknowledge that you made a mistake, to understand why, and then to move forward.
I felt like it was a story I could understand. And it was a way I could feel kind towards myself. The language of battling and fighting made me also feel at war with my own body, which I don't find helpful.
5mo ago
Underscored — save the words that stop you in your tracks.
